早速翌朝になったけど珍しく眠気が来て寝られたので良しとする。
My right back is so ache because I waste too much time for smartphone. I know it is better to do stretch or go to the gym. It is too （面倒）because I have a child. I have never think having a child make me regulated to any activitiy. I have to raise up my child, make her eat, change clothes, play with me and sleep. Every action needs three times to do by myself.
↓
The right side of my back aches so much because I spend too much time on my smartphone. I know it would be better to get some exercise, but it’s too much of a hassle since I have a child. I never thought that having a child would limit my activities. I have to raise my child—feed her, change her clothes, play with her, and put her to sleep. Every task takes three times as long when I do it by myself.
以下は、文章全体をより自然で正確な英語に修正した例です。
My right side of my back aches so much because I spend too much time on my smartphone. I know it would be better to do some stretching or go to the gym, but it’s too much of a hassle since I have a child. I never thought that having a child would limit my activities. I have to raise my child—feed her, change her clothes, play with her, and put her to sleep. Every task takes three times as long when I do it by myself.
分析とポイント
- Backの表現:
- 元文: “My right back is so ache”
- 修正: “My right side of my back aches so much”
- 理由: 「ache」は動詞ではなく形容詞 “aching” や “aches” を使い、具体的に「右側の背中」と表現することで意味が明確になります。
- スマートフォンの時間の表現:
- 元文: “I waste too much time for smartphone”
- 修正: “I spend too much time on my smartphone”
- 理由: “spend time on” の表現が自然です。また “for smartphone” ではなく “on my smartphone” とすることで所有感と場所を示します。
- ストレッチやジムに行く表現:
- 元文: “it is better to do stretch or go to the gym”
- 修正: “it would be better to do some stretching or go to the gym”
- 理由: “do some stretching” のように動名詞形を使い、条件を示す “would” を加えると、より自然な表現になります。
- 「面倒」の表現:
- 元文: “It is too （面倒）because I have a child.”
- 修正: “but it’s too much of a hassle since I have a child.”
- 理由: “hassle” は「面倒」を意味する口語表現で、”since” を用いることで理由がはっきりします。
- 子育てに関する表現:
- 元文: “I have never think having a child make me regulated to any activitiy.”
- 修正: “I never thought that having a child would limit my activities.”
- 理由: “limit my activities” のほうが「活動が制限される」という意味を自然に表現できます。
- 具体的な子供の世話:
- 元文: “I have to raise up my child, make her eat, change clothes, play with me and sleep.”
- 修正: “I have to raise my child—feed her, change her clothes, play with her, and put her to sleep.”
- 理由: 箇条書きのように並べると、各行動が明確になり、”raise” の後ろに “up” は不要です。
- 作業の時間:
- 元文: “Every action needs three times to do by myself.”
- 修正: “Every task takes three times as long when I do it by myself.”
- 理由: “takes three times as long” という表現で、通常より時間がかかることを自然に伝えます。
これらの修正点を覚えておくと、同じような表現や文法の誤りに気づきやすくなるでしょう。頑張ってください！
運動
“get some exercise”
→ 「運動する」という一般的な表現で、特別にジムに行くやストレッチをするという限定的な行動ではなく、日常的な体を動かす活動全般を含んでいます。
“whether that’s playing with my child at the park or just moving around during daily chores”
→ 具体例として、子どもと公園で遊ぶことや家事などの、特別な運動以外の日常的な活動も運動の一部として捉えることを示しています。
コメント